i cant slp until nw,
everyone is slping nw why isnt mi?
no matter hw much i drank juz cant close my eyes down,
i'm too foolish on everything nw
i'm in de circle always no whr i can get out of it
i cant jump out of it
i'm tired nw

alot of thing to say, no words came out,
granted is too heavy for mi nw,
i cant take this words easily in life,
i feel tat eveyone like to take it for granted,
i hav changed isnt wad i wan,
my mind cant even to hav a min of break,
thing keep came in my mind
thinking and thinking,
isnt well this few dayz
no matter hw i relax, listen to music
i cant stop de thinking neither den tokin to ppl
u guyz say i'm crazy, i really hope i can 1 dayz,
cuz aleast i living in my own world,
no one can understand hw i feel,
i gt lot of thing to say, but everytime isnt de rite time!!
I HAV IT ENOUGH OF THIS!
I GOIN TO GET CRAZY NO ONE CAN STOP THIS!!!

thing is kind of settle down in reality
in de back's no one noe, but i can see mask is wearing
mi too isnt it
hope tat thing will be fine soon!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
him is back,
i'm confused nw
i really dunnoe wad shld i do
am i stupid for this
hais

meet up darlinz early in de morning
to simei to hav breakfast wif darling's
walking around dere den head town shopping
dinner over at town,
back jp darling brought her new laptop
cost$999, she love it alot i think! great darling
head home in nite!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i need time for everything nw,
even i dun understand wad happen,
dun understand why,
thing hav already happen wif no turning back
sick and tired of it can?
time for mi to let go feel better?

time will let thing down,
no matter hw long pain will gone wif times,
do take care inside, i will do wadever i can for this family
hope everyone is well, wif no worry's
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i need time to let go,
hw long?

life is full of fool in it,
tot family dun care u de most,
when thing really happen they will gif u de helping hand always,
this few day isnt smiling,
full of tear's
full of stress
full of emo-ing
today went to see him wif dad and mum!
was de first time after i born i saw daddy cried really hard when he tokin to bro!
even tat daddy always say dun care for him let bro go ahead go die, dun care!
but really can see tat daddy really very worry and care for bro!
every parent care for their child even they dun say,
daddy health look nt well nw a day, he nv went for doctor
he rather save de money for us to spend,
this few year cuz of working he isnt at home
look no care in de family,
no love in it, only earning money
when thing happen he de first wan to think of a way,
hw to help to fix de problem!
but nw is juz only blaming who fault is it in de family to let de thing happen
is already no use for tat isnt,
no one wan tat oso!!
mummy look nth happen! but can see her keep wake up in de nite,
keep drinking and smoking heavy nw,
their health isnt gd like last time anymore!
but i cant even help anything in it, i look unless for tat
keep gving problem for them
hw i wish thing nv happen before,
my life is like a game,
he came out bro go in!
wad shld i do?
missing something in my life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
great tat u came out,
but thing is nt wad i wan anymore
i juz like a fool

emo suddenly,
tot of crying hard out,
but no tear for mi,
~~~~~~~~~~~~
darling
muz be strong hao ma?
even hw sad and tired u are
i will be dere for u de
i am always standing at here
anything for u k,
dun worry for anything,
dun cry for everything
dun hate anyone
dun emo cuz of this
even tat u do all this thing come to mi
tell mi all de thing u wish to say out
i will listen to you nw when u need mi
I will be dere for u!! u are nt alone!!

darling,
when time reach de pain will be gone!
不要在哭了！
不要在 痛苦了。
i will be dere!
rmr ur promise this time =)

everything seen to happen!
my feeling hao fan and hao luan!
i dunnoe wad shld i do,
as darlinz say forward wad ur heart say!
even tat i noe wad to do!
i cant clime over it nw!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
darling,
dun cry anymore cuz of this can?
我的心好痛好痛!不要在看你哭
even tat u gt hurts, turn ur back's
look at mi, i will be dere for u de!
my shlder is here can lent to u to lie on
my ears is here for u to say everything tat u wan
willing to meet up anytime
willing to listen of everything,
willing to cry wif u,
不要难过还有我在!

i hav no mood for everything nw!
i nt smiling seen thing has happen,
cry, emo and smoke is wad i do nw
for this few day!
i cant feel anything wif anyone!
i juz alone always
this my fate wont change for being alone!
i noe i was changing nw! getting worst!
think this de road i shld walk,
this de road i shld walk on!
no one is dere,
no one will be dere!
juz alone!

thing start to happen in my life!
having a bad dream ytd untill wake up today!
bad news get to mi today!
life getting worst nw!
i dunnoe hw i am goin to face it
and to tell them,
wo hao fan!
family! frenz! and other else!
everything came in at de same time!
i cant handle it nw!
i dunnoe wad i can do!
family a huge news tat will let mummy break down,
she isnt tat strong for this i noe!
family will be gone or nt no wan noe!
thing happen i was de first to noe!
shld i tell them or wait for de news to get them?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i wont stop u to find de thing tat u wan
if u need mi come and look for mi ba!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whr are u?
i need u nw

Went swimming in de morning wif darlinz!
afternoon darling join in oso!
until nite all head home,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
as wad darlinz say!
Either you give up wad you are doing or you just simply dig ur head deeper into that endless hole. think of wad tat is gd for u, u are nt alone =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
我累了
你在哪里会在我身边吗？
我好想你
emoing~

emo wasnt out of my life yeh!
buy beer, meet up darlinz in jp for awhile!
nearly broke down in jp
thx darlinz for trying to make mi smile!
thx for ur present i like it alot!
de first present for vac this year!
thx alot for wad u do for mi!
cheer up too! as wad i owards say
" everything will be fine"
emo is juz awhile! time will let pain gone away!
still gt alot of qus haven ask u yeh
and haven get my answer!
this wad i drink today!

wad can i do for u again?
trust is broken by u,
i noe tat u wont came and find mi
i juz look like a extra for u,
when u free or boring den u will think of mi!
letting of my stupid hand nw!
i wont fan u anymore!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i need u at my side nw!
scared tat i will broke down again!
wo hao xiang ni
wo bu zi da ya zhen mai zu!
34day

Feeling emo suddenly,
thing keep come out from my brain
cant get relax anymore!
feeling like crying!
why muz lie?
why? i nt trusted from u?
only lieing is for mi?
doin everything tat u told is wad i get nw?
am i stupid ?
i juz a idot in life!
belive in wad u say! try to change u,
hold on to u for nt letting u off,
dun lie to u even joke,
is a really big present for mi this time,
no one will noe hw i feeling,
i think is time for mi to change to become another person
juz to care myself and be selfish nw!
u broke de trust again and again!
u shld noe wad u will get!
its over

Emo as words say!
Emo as time go!
Emo is wad i can do now!
when lie is make! everything is over
is nt de first time, sry do not hav a changes
hurts hav make! scar is dere again!
why muz do de hurt everytime tat u gt in r/s
Lieing is wad u can do for mi?
hurting is wad u can gif mi?
everything since nth over on our frenzship!
let mi feel unless on it! de trust isnt dere cuz of lie!
nt even noeing ur feeling and everything juz get in blinding!
nv gif mi my answer tat i asked u juz nw!
no commet for ur r/s this wad u wan?
wad u which to hav in ur life?
i let of my hand to let u go from nw on!
i wont stop u for anything and anymore!
even wad i say i noe u wont listen,
u will juz go cuz u wan to hav it! cuz eveyone hav!
u wont turn back to see for other tat u hurt!
tot u wont do this isnt ur promise!
isnt say tat wont find a kor for stead?
wont wait until stead le den tell mi?
is this all SHIT FOR U?
juz say out without thinking of it?
all are juz lie isnt?
trust had broken!!! u noe wad i hate de most
everytime u do this? hav u think of mi?
all are juz lie? wad i shld do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
33day
whr are u today?
why u isnt here for mi?
i really tired!!

went to meet uop darlinz and daddy for lunch!!
eat CRAB today!! tat was a long time i nv eat it,
head back to darlinz head to eat hot chocolate!!
after she went to slp and i head home early!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's 1mth
hw are u?
will u still rmr mi ma?
i dunnoe wad to do tis thing

went Nuh wif darlinz and her parent
for her result of de bone!!
EVERYTHING IS FINE!!
a great news for her!
she was faning for a idot frenz today
by making her mood emo
" IDOT BETTER StOP ALL DE XIAO REN THING "
if nt u can try wif mi
FUCK OFF STUPID
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"DARLINZ"
everything will be fine rmr juz smile for everything =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
31day gettin to 1mths
wo hao xiang ni

kind busy this few day on working until very late
lasy to on9!!
thing hd already past
lets started wif a new again!
everything will go smooth!!
workin tml oso in de morning at 9am!!
suddenly feel like joining 合氣道or other else!!
hahax, mi getting older liao, everytime tot of joining but end up nv
shld i??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
29day
wo hao xiang ni
waiting for u and i in wrong?
hoping 1day u will come out and find mi
am i dreaming of thing too much?
thinking of it too much?
even u come out will i get wad i wan and wish?
wad shld i do for this?
cool down and think about it?
tired!! =(

Tot of past wont be back again
but seen it had alreadly happen,
i feel very tired after all,
aleast i noe u are happily after all,
really feel great even i wasnt dere anymore,
i noe u will get wad u wan this time,
saying all kinds of words thing wont change back,
let thing happen for de way of it
its time for mi to take a long break after all this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
26day
emo!